Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Poll Results #12

The DW, as usual, would like to thank all those who took time to vote. Here's how poll #12 turned out...

How often does your first date with a dude need translation?

Always! Dudes perplex me, dude. - 17%
Like an adult diaper, it depends. - 71%
Never. Dudes are simple. - 10%

Dudes, how often does your first date with a woman need translation?

Always! Help! WTF! - 90%
Sometimes - 10%
Never. Chicks are super easy to read, dude - 0%

The DW admits he will never quite understand exactly why dudes appear so complicated to women. But, since clearly dudes do seem complicated to women, and sorting out how to make it simple to understand them is the whole thrust of this blog, the DW likes to take small opportunities every now and again to step outside all the talk of dude difficulty to remind all the sexy ladies out there that dudes have a similar problem regarding women. Or, to be more succinct, dudes have no idea what the f*ck you’re thinking either. Not a clue. A dude could figure out how to enrich uranium in his bathtub before he could guess what’s on your mind right now.

And here’s the thing. In the case of first dates, at least, you should be heartened by a dude’s cluelessness. Too many DW letters about first date dudes are written in a frenzy of worry and confusion about your own point of view with the implicit assumption that the dude is driving the situation. In charge. Determining the outcome. Well, guess what? That first date dude thinks you’re driving. In charge. Determining the outcome. Which levels the playing field a bit, right?

So, next time you’re on a first date and you’re getting all worked up and wondering “WTF!”, take a deep breath and look into the dude’s eyes and remember this- the Dude Whisperer Super Duper Poll-O-Meter says that your first date dude is 90% likely to be thinking “WTF!” too, and approximately 0% likely to have you all figured out. So quit worrying, have dessert, and get on with the rest of your date.


Anonymous said...

So who is driving? I think chicks assume that the guy has to determine the outcome because if we do it first, we'll just scare the crap out of them and they'll run...even if they do like us. So what we do is decide on our own if we like the dude, and then wait for the dude to move it forward. Aren't we supposed to be cool and not apply pressure? Aren't dudes all afraid that chicks are commitment crazed?

thedudewhisperer@yahoo.com said...

hi anon 6:26 - ideally, you both drive, right? yes, dudes can get scared by too much pressure, real or perceived. but driving doesn't have to be pressure, does it?

basically, if you Never take the wheel there's approximately a negative 374% chance the dude is going to drive the car exactly where you want.