Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Dudefile # 39 - The DJ

To the Dudiest of Dudes,

Here's my dude question. I started dating this dj/musician dude a while back and we seemed to have a lot of basic stuff in common. We went to shows together,
I cooked him dinner, he cooked me dinner. We met each other's friends. All fairly normal dating material.

However, I noticed pretty quickly that he was really bad at communicating, even for a dude. Like, even basic things like returning a phone call. Really bad. It got to the point where a ten word text felt like the State of the Union from this dude. That being said, that still didn't really deter us from hanging out and having a great time together.

THEN he went on the road playing in a friend's band for a few weeks and all of a sudden, I just stopped hearing from him.

Okay, so...I get the message. It's over and I'm not interested in trying to get him back. But come on. I'm owed at least some kind of explanation, right? Some kind of "Sorry," or "I'm too busy," or something, even if it's lame. This is a grown dude we're talking about here. Old enough to know better.

So my question is this. Should I say something or should I just leave it alone?

~Never date DJs or drummers

Hi thereNdDJod,

Dudiest of dudes! Hell yeah!

Yipes. Sorry to hear you got That Stereotypical Musician Dude. Bad times. The DW is seriously tempted to let this devolve into a rant about how much he thinks The DJ is the most overrated and ridiculous phenomenon of our time because those folks are so often self-important wankers who don't realize that it's not actually that special to play a bunch of records drunk people like to hear when they're dancing in a horrible club, but he is bigger than that and will resist the temptation.

So, should you say something?

Look, it depends on what your purpose is. If the idea of saying something is to make yourself feel better, go nuts. The DW is of the opinion that any spiel you feel like throwing at this dipsh^t is deserved. You'd be hard pressed to go overboard, frankly. The DW has no patience with the Fade To Silence approach this dude has borrowed from the end of some boinky Euro dance track and tacked onto your relationship whether it's from a dj dude, a sorority girl, a boss, a cop, or Santa Claus. Knock yourself out. The Fade is a no balls move.

If your purpose is to make the dude feel bad, though. Well, save your breath. The thing that might actually get through to That Stereotypical Musician Dude is to move on so utterly that it's like it doesn't even matter he disappeared. If you rant, he's just gonna find a way to turn that into You So Crazy No Wonder I Broke Up With You and make up some revisionist history that absolves himself of guilt. Then he'll go pick up some choice vinyl, smoke a bowl, and use the story about how you freaked out on him to drum up sympathy from the next chick he tries to pick up. You feel me, brah?

As with anything, there are exceptions to rules. The most honest dude the DW knows is a singer and guitar player. And, it's true he was actually at a DJ friend's birthday party two days ago. And she's superawesome. But for now, maybe play the odds and stay away from the dudes with instruments.

Here's to a non-DJ d&ck in your near future. Best,

the DW


Anonymous said...

This is my first time reading your blog. This SAME thing happened to me with a HUGE LOSER DJ (with a tiny penis). Thanks for confirming the worthlessness of this population. I am instantly hooked on your blog. said...

dang! goin' right for the penis size! the DW thought such, er, little things weren't supposed to matter to you, the more sophisticated sex...

Anonymous said...

You really thought that DW?? Really? ;)

Anonymous said...

First anonymous commented here again...
Yes, it does matter. I suppose maybe it can be overlooked if he has a winning personality, but this guy is a total douchebag, so I have little sympathy. Also, it was *very* tiny.