Question: I have Dude that I have been dating for a year. After a couple months and a few comments from each of us implying that we don't share well with others, it became the unspoken assumption that we were exclusive.
The relationship is not working for me. I basically feel like a booty call and every time I say anything about the amount of time or interaction lacking he tells me that if it isn't working for me "there is the door".
Do I have to make an official statement or have a confrontational conversation where I explain that it is over for me? Or can I just start filling in my time with other options? We live in a small town and so it wouldn't take long for him to hear something from someone else.
Hi there FY,
You know, the DW is of the opinion that just about any time someone suggests you walk out the door, you do it. The DW has never in his life suggested such a thing to someone he cared about, let alone repeatedly to a sexy gf. This isn't some bulls&t horsing around like you've seen dudes do when they punch each other on the arm and horribly insult each other and it turns out all they're doing is having fun and sharing inside ironic jokes. This is in the context of what is supposed to be a relationship, perfectly serious, and frankly just an indicator that someone is too sh&tty for any kind of problem solving or empathy. Life is to short to engage this crapsack on any level. Head out the do'. For sho'.
As for the official statement and confrontational conversation? Yes and no.
The DW is a big fan of clarity and honesty, so even though this dude is more of a Teen Sex Comedy Over the Top Jock A-Hole Villain Cardboard Cut Out than an actual homo sapiens, for your benefit and as a matter of decency, the Official Statement is a yes. Doesn't have to be Gettysburg Address or anything, just a certain and simple, “We're over like a forty year old figure skater,” will do. Then go get involved with whomever you please.
As for the confrontation and/or conversation, ohgoodlordno. Why would you do that to yourself? There's nothing to explain and no reason for a big fat examine-fest. Just inform dude you're taking him up on the offer for the door and won't be back. The whole thing could seriously take less than a minute. Auf wiedersehen, unterhosenkopf!
Best of luck with the next dude,