Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Dudefile #54 - Will He Only Date Asian Women?

Hi DW,

first off, love your site. it's hysterical and helpful.

now down to business. there is this guy who is in my circle of friends who i am in crush with. he's cute, fun, can have a conversation, isn't adverse to wearing a wig for a costume party. in short, a great package. i like to think of myself as the same. the only issue is i'm not asian and he tends to date asian women. he is not asian.

my question is - when a guy has a 'type', will he ever date outside of it?

thanks so much and have a wonderful day!


Hi K,

Okay, so the answer here really is "Sometimes". The DW can't remember if he's already mentioned this one dude roommate he had way back when, but that dude was all about some boobies. Actually, not boobies- cans. Actually, not even cans, jugs. Jugs are bigger than cans, right? Anyway, he was into the largest breast size possible, pick your favorite slang. All the women he dated had Yooge breasts. The woman he married had Yooge breasts. Never once did he get drunk and/or curious enough to go one iota sub-watermelon.

But, you know how Anne Hathaway got all angsty and kookypants for Rachel Getting Married and critics fell all over themselves saying it was the best work she'd ever done? Sometimes dudes are like that with women. They find themselves oh so gently fondling a small pair of boobies instead of a big pair of boobies and they're like, "Ah! Where have these tasty morsels been my whole life?" Going against type can turn out to be the best thing that ever happened. Think Alec Baldwin dropping the brooding leading man bit and letting himself be funny. In fact, the DW strongly encourages branching out from what you think you know you like because you're probably wrong if you've never done some comparison shopping.

In the case of this dude, the DW thinks you should consider him in play. If he's as solid as he sounds, he'll be open to going out of the narrow preference zone of Asian women. And if not, then maybe he's not so cool after all. Yes, dudes, including the DW, have ideas about what they like in a woman physically, but when a dude can't stray at all from a certain race or enormous canjugboobiebreasts or whatever the fixation is you start to get into territory where you have to wonder how much of the dude's motivation is strictly directed by fetishizing a characteristic. And that's a little dehumanizing and weird.

Best of luck with the dude we'll assume for now is not an Asiaphile.

Have fun,

the DW


claire said...

DUDE, i can't believe that you, of all people, aren't aware of the fact that asiaphilia is NOT just a physical preference. it is a RACIAL FETISH, and tied in with a whole mess of racist, colonial bullshit.

Anonymous said...

Hey Claire - I think the DW *DOES* realize all that, that's why he said what he said and is giving the dude the benefit of the doubt until he proves otherwise.

And usual, brilliant response!!