Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Dudefile #2 - Casual Sex Situations?

Hey DW,

So I'm wondering about a dude I've been seeing. It's one of those casual sex situations that's been consistent. Do you think that it will ever take a turn for the better or should I take the exit before I begin getting in over my head, if not already?


Hi LS,

Gotta tell you this is a pretty easy one if the DW is making a few correct assumptions. If by 1) "casual sex situations" you mean that you and this dude hook up, but don’t go out on dates 2) "turn for the better" to mean this dude coming to his senses and falling madly in love with you like the exciting conclusion of a Diane Lane movie and 3) "getting in over my head" to mean you caring way more for this dude than he does for you- get out.

Dudes don't necessarily equate the touching of naughty parts to emotional attachment. They just don't. This fascinates his wife, but there was a time when the DW was like that dude and had "casual sex situations", and here's the thing. If this dude of yours felt deeply about you as a girlfriend-type, all that disconnect between naughty parts and emotions goes out the window and the mere thought of another dude's wiener being anywhere near you would make him really, really antsy. The fact that it doesn't, which is implicit in casual non-committedness, means that he won't likely ever be your boyfriend.

Doesn't mean he doesn't legitimately like you. Just means he doesn't, for whatever reasons, think of you, as the saying goes, in that way. He might even be surprised to find out you think it's anything more than casual and that things aren't just fine and awesome and convenient like they are right now.

Anyway, hope this is some helpful dude insight. Feel free to write back with follow ups or new dude situations.

the DW

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