Thursday, May 29, 2008

Poll Results #8

And now for a look at what you said in Poll #8. Thanks again for voting.

Poll Results #8

What does your dad think of your current (or most recent) relationship dude?

Loves him – 10%
Hates him – 5%
Ignores him – 5%
Your guess is as good as mine, DW – 80%

For what it’s worth, the DW found out his wife voted for “Loves him”, which means two things. One, the DW knows how and what to cook for his father in law. Two, the answer “Loves him” is a statistical outlier just as much as “Hates him” and “Ignores him”.

Which leaves us with “Your guess is as good as mine, DW,” as the only real results to talk about. And what’s interesting to the DW about that is that dudes tend to operate on the theory that you ladies know what's going on a little more than this. After all, you keep track of so many more details than we do. When someone smiled, what they were wearing, word for word what that text message said, he leaned this way not that way, his friend said this, etc. etc. So much stuff! We kind of assume that not only are you gathering more information than us, but that you know how to use it. Turns out maybe not.

In fact, maybe too much information gathering is the problem. All those thickets of complexity are obscuring the essential facts. Look, dudes aren’t quite as simple as the old thing about food and boobies being all it takes to keep us happy. But it’s a good start. The DW would add that we like things to be simple and have a sense of justice or logic or purpose. And more boobies.

Anyway, the DW isn’t a father, but he has had some experience fretting over the gross-ass horny punk that will want to take his theoretical daughter out on a date sixteen years from now, so here’s a shot at what dad is thinking. You know that aloofness or non-committal nature you find confusing? Here’s why he’s like that.

Relationships have always been a mystery to your dad. Even his own. He’s still not sure how he managed to get himself married, he just knows he found this great woman and somehow he didn’t screw it up, apparently. Now he’s supposed to know how to act around his daughter’s relationship? Please. The only thing he knows for sure is that the boyfriend dude is intensely interested in finding out how much of a bendy straw his daughter can/is willing to be when they do a little naked ankle wranglin’. Just like he was with your mom. Ew! And Ew! How does a dude act in that situation? Well, sometimes he's able to act totally normal and grown up and accepting. Sometimes he just kind of awkwardly leaves the room because he has no idea what’s going on and in his experience he's just as likely to do something dopey as not so it’s best to leave the whole thing be for a minute.

Here’s to remembering that dear old doesn’t know what’s going on either,

the DW


Anonymous said...

Maybe it's not so much the fact that we don't know what our dads think as that it really doesn't matter? I mean, I'm not 12. I'm an adult and able to choose a man based on what I want, not what my dad wants for me. It never occured to me to think about what my dad thought of my man choices. said...

Couldn't agree more you can't live your life endlessly looking for daddy's approval. This is more just offering the other side of things for you to do with, or Not do with, as you wish.